Struggling with confidence is one of my life’s most tedious leitmotifs. Yours, too? You’ve come to the right place! Know those days when you feel invincible just because you’ve decided to trust yourself and your personal power? You’ve just taken a look in the mirror and told yourself you’re pretty enough, smart enough, elegant enough and that you’ve got this? I do. And, girl, I’m slaying anti-feminist dragons on those days.
I’ve always seen my bum as one of my greatest assets. JLo, me and a thousands of other women, probably. How did we end up believing one part of us is worth appreciating and others are flawed?
Though I grew up and I’m what society labels as an adult (strictly in terms of numbers, surely), I still view myself as a checklist that I’m still (far less than before) dangling in front of potential suitors and whomever I see as my direct competition (yes, straight on! It’s you, sisters! I sometimes, many times to be honest, I see you as the competition, unless you’re married or old, then you’ve been cleared – that’s how I was taught to think and I’m making efforts to break this unhealthy pattern). If this triggers you, I invite you to take a look at how you view other women and how you got to thinking that way. And be honest!
The Confidence Struggle Is Real
Every day deciding and deciding yet again whether I’m valuable. Going through the list: I have a pretty and symmetrical face (check!), I’m fit (check), I have a round ass (check!), I pole, I teach yoga, I speak several languages, got my own business, I’m fun, interesting, I’m smart and witty (check, check, check). All these check marks result into a wanna-be-fierce, but crumbling “I deserve the guy the job, the dream life”. I utter a faint “I deserve…”
This way of life, I admit it… It’s exhausting! Extremely frustrating! And I believe also quite familiar to many of you reading this.
What to Do, You Ask, Shrugging Your Shoulders, ha?
Here’s something that helped me improve the quality of my life. I like my bum, so I started with that. Had a really honest talk with my buttocks and we stroke a deal. Every time I speak nonsense about my body, my worthiness, I grab my glutes. This is what in NLP is called an anchor.
Tension in the back of our hips, including the glutes means that we may be focusing too much on the past. This article underlines that the muscles in our buttocks store emotions linked to holding onto the past. The physical gesture of grabbing my glutes and addressing them is a reminder that I choose to release the old stories and infuse more confidence in my life.
Leading a successful, confident life is a decision and a commitment more than the actual results. It’s sticking to that what improves your quality of life over and over again, no matter how difficult it is. Fuelling that confidence not through intellect, but by emotionally getting into your body, apologising to those parts you’ve disrespected and pouring acceptance and love over every little cell. That’s what it is.
The most charismatic people I’ve ever met in this lifetime were far from being the most socially-accepted-beautiful. They had a spark and that spark was coming from their embracing themselves, their bodies. That spark comes out of confidence. So, my butt’s got my back. Which part of you has yours?
Want to learn more? Check out my course Confident In My Body.